(The) Final Destination 4 (2009) Movie Review

FINAL DESTINATION 4 (2009) MOVIE, HORROR MOVIE NEWS, HORROR MOVIE REVIEWS, REVIEWS — BYNIX ON AUGUST 28, 2009

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Marketed as the “Final Destination” movie, there’s a good chance Death will be back. At least, if the film’s spectacular $156 million dollar worldwide gross has anything to say about it. Not bad for a movie made with no stars and on a budget of $40 million. And let’s face it, this is a splatter franchise we’re talking about; its fanbase isn’t going to care about notions of studio integrity, just as long as Death returns to wreak more havoc on the young pretty people who thinks they can “solve” him. Silly, silly young pretty people destined to get splattered.

“The Final Destination”, the fourth in the franchise, finds a race track as its source of opening death and mayhem. It’s here that young buck Nick (Bobby Campo) and his girlfriend Lori (Shantel VanSanten) and their buddies, Hunk (Nick Zano) and Janet (Haley Webb) decide to spend the day. The friends look to be in their ‘20s, but aside from Lori making an aside mention of “taking a study break”, I haven’t a clue what they do for a living, or if they’re students. And to be honest, I don’t think writer Eric Bress or director David R. Ellis (who also helmed the second installment) care. Frankly, it doesn’t matter, so let’s move on, shall we?

The premonition of impending disaster strikes Nick, whose actions start a fight that takes the friends and a chosen few out of the stands before the accident occurs moments later. Dozens are dead, but our friends and some strangers are spared. As with the previous three movies, that just means Death has to do some house-cleaning, which means stalking the survivors one by one in the order that they were meant to die if not for Nick’s actions. It’s up to Nick and Lori, and race track security guy George (Mykelti Williamson) to uncover Death’s not-so-secret designs (the Internet, it appears, has since exposed Death’s immaculate grand scheme) and break the chain of “accidental” murders before it’s too late. Of course, if you’ve seen any of the “Final Destinations” movies, you know that that’s pretty much a lost cause.

Without belaboring the point, if you’ve seen any of the previous entries in the series, you pretty much know what to expect. The kids will try to figure Death out, which will result in them trying to break the chain of death, failing miserably along the way before believing they’ve actually succeeded, only to realize oh how wrong they were. End of story. You don’t get to a fourth installment without knowing the formula by heart and what your audience expects, and Ellis and company certainly know better than to try to re-invent the wheel. When the fourth entry in your franchise turns in a $156 million dollar payday, it’s all the proof you need that the formula still works.

For viewers who know what they’re in for, “The Final Destination” somewhat lives up to the franchise tag. It doesn’t even pretend to have any ambitions whatsoever aside from showing off all the blood and gore (and chunks of body parts) in their full 3D glory. Great for theater viewing, no doubt, but a lot of the film will look cheap on DVD. Nevertheless, when all is said and done, David R. Ellis can still say that he delivered the goods up to audience expectations. Though curiously, the franchise seems to have given up completely on scripting even a slightly logical plot narrative. Our hero Nick shows up whenever someone is about to die the most gruesome death, and the cops never suspect him. In fact, what cops? I don’t think a single man in uniform ever shows up in the movie. Oh well, all that explanation would just get in the way of gory death scenes anyway.

As no-name casts go, the pretty boys and girls of “The Final Destination” play their parts well. Bobby Campo and Shantel VanSanten make for an attractive pair, and the latter’s ability to fill out a pair of cutesy panties is particularly impressive. Nick Zano probably has the movie’s best part, playing the jerkish but hunky Hunt Wynorski. Of course, in the real world a guy like Hunt would never hang around with a guy like Nick and vice versa. The film fills out its young cast with the slightly older Mykelti Williamson, who doesn’t have all that much to do in the movie, but nevertheless has more pathos than even our main hero. Former “Baywatch” beauty Krista Allen plays the world’s most attractive mother of two boys, but is alas dispatched way too early in the film. And imagine, not even a gratuitous bikini scene with Krista Allen. For shame, for shame.

Even as a fan of the franchise, and someone who knew what to expect (and what not to miss) going in, I must admit that “The Final Destination” nevertheless feels unimpressively barebones. Ellis showed some brilliant acumen when it comes to orchestrating death scenes in the second film, but he seems to be on cruise control here. Certainly, having little demanded out of him except to make a competent, by-the-numbers splatter film with all the criteria of the job description, Ellis probably didn’t feel particularly inspired to make a great movie. And it shows, I’m afraid. Even by the quickly dwindling standards of horror franchise sequels, “The Final Destination”, if it is indeed the final entry in the franchise, makes for an underwhelming goodbye. It delivers the goods, don’t get me wrong, but that’s about all it does.

Oh, who are we kidding. Part five, like Death, is just around the corner…

David R. Ellis (director) / Eric Bress (screenplay)

CAST: Bobby Campo … Nick O’Bannon

Shantel VanSanten … Lori Milligan

Nick Zano … Hunt Wynorski

Haley Webb … Janet Cunningham

Mykelti Williamson … George Lanter

Krista Allen … Samantha Lane